


Before you go...

by CFD-51-81-3-61 (ImagineBeingSafe)



Series: Where you decide to stay [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29161578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineBeingSafe/pseuds/CFD-51-81-3-61
Summary: Emt!Reader feels unworthy of Matt.he'll do what he can to make her see he cares.
Relationships: 51& Reader, Matthew Casey/Reader, Stella Kidd/Kelly Severide
Series: Where you decide to stay [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140689
Kudos: 3





	Before you go...

_The Ladder shifts violently, and you move._

_Sylvie catching you, because-_

_-What would you even do? You are not trained for that._

_Your whole being seizes with fear and a need to save Matt._

_Though the good captain has his own self and men to back him up._

_The man has no idea how you feel about him._

_How could he?_

_Anyone would be a better match._

_Just you? Could never be enough._

+  
You sit and tune the guitar in your lap.

Sighing you turn on the camera before you.

"This song… is to someone who has my heart. I'll be there when you're ready, and even if you aren't."

_**"I fell by the wayside, like everyone else  
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you  
But I was just kidding myself  
Our every moment, I start to replace  
'Cause now that they're gone  
All I hear are the words that I needed to say  
‘** _

_**When you hurt under the surface  
Like troubled water running cold  
Well, time can heal but this won't  
  
** _

_**So, before you go  
Was there something I could've said  
To make your heart beat better?  
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather  
  
** _

_**So, before you go  
Was there something I could've said  
To make it all stop hurting?  
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless  
So, before you go  
‘** _

_**Was never the right time, whenever you called  
Went little, by little, by little until there was nothing at all  
Our every moment, I start to replay  
But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face  
  
** _

_**When you hurt under the surface  
Like troubled water running cold  
Well, time can heal but this won't  
  
** _

_**So, before you go  
Was there something I could've said  
To make your heart beat better?  
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather  
  
** _

_**So, before you go  
‘Was there something I could've said  
To make it all stop hurting?  
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless  
  
** _

_**So, before you go  
Would we be better off by now  
If I'd let my walls come down?  
Maybe I guess we'll never know  
You know, you know  
Before you go** _

_**Was there something I could've said** _

_**To make your heart beat better?** _

_**If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather** _

_**So, before you go** _

_**Was there something I could've said** _

_**To make it all stop hurting?** _

_**It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless** _

_**So, before you go…"** _

"You turn off the camera without the usual upbeat good bye.

You were not up for it.

+  
Unbeknownst to you, Matt was a subscriber.

The whole firehouse knew of course, but you only knew about Sylvie and Stella because they always comment.

He wonders who at first. Then it all clicks.

How you check on him, all the time.

The Molly's nights.

The way you'd reacted when the ladder had malfunctioned.

Was it really him who'd broken your heart without knowing?


End file.
